8 meaningful things you can do to help your loved ones in their battle against breast cancer
When someone that you know is diagnosed with cancer, it can be really hard to know how to support them. Fortunately, there are lots of small things that you can do to show that you care.
- Keep in touch
When a person is first diagnosed with cancer, they often receive a lot of support, but the cancer journey can be a long one, so it is important to keep this contact going. Cards, emails, calls and visits are all good ideas. Do ring before visiting, to make sure that they’re feeling up to it before popping around. If you’re having trouble finding the ‘right words’, you could send something else instead: a funny Youtube clip, cute cat pictures or a daily pun, depending on what the person likes. - Listen
Unless you have experienced cancer for yourself, it is best to avoid giving the person advice. Simply being there to listen is the most underrated, but valuable, thing that you can do. - Run errands
Some people find it difficult to ask for, or accept help, from others. Asking when you can pick up their prescriptions rather than if you can is a gentle encourager, letting your friend know that you are willing to help out. Casseroles tend to be a go-to for people wanting to help when people they know are struggling with illness, but chemotherapy can affect appetite. It’s a good idea to sit down with the person and ask them if a meal delivery service or grocery runs would best suit them.
Check out: Angel Delivery | My Food Bag | Meals On Wheels - Help with childcare
One of the biggest things that women worry about when they are diagnosed with breast cancer is keeping life normal for their children. Offering to drive the kids to after school activities, helping with homework or taking them out in the weekends will take the pressure off. - Learn what’s happening
Familiarising yourself with the side-effects of chemotherapy, surgery and cancer treatments won’t mean that you fully understand what the person is going through but it will help you to figure out how to be more helpful. For example, some treatment can affect memory – going along to appointments as a support person, and taking notes will really help.
Helpful resources: BCFNZ Treatment Info | Mary’s Cancer Diaries | Join the Mybc online community | She’s Got Breast Cancer – a book for men complied by Peter Calder (available free through the Breast Cancer Foundation NZ; email breasthealth@nzbcf.org.nz to request your free copy) - Remember to take care of yourself too
Supporting someone who is going through cancer can be emotionally and physically draining so it is important to take time out to recharge. If you run yourself into the ground, the person may feel like a burden and push you away, so prioritise some rest time for yourself each week. You may also find that talking to a close friend or family member about what you are experiencing could help ease stress. - Put together a care package
Giving the person something to take their mind of their current situation is a great way of keeping their attitude positive and keeping boredom away. What you decide to put in the package will depend on the person but some ideas include: books to read, Netflix, colouring in books, origami paper and folding instructions, a beanie and a big pair of fluffy socks. Feel free to put some light-hearted additions in there too such as stick on tattoos (to shock the treatment specialists!) - Do something fun
While going out for a few wines won’t be on the cards, you can still organise some fun low-key activities. You could do some tai chi in the garden, take a short walk along the beach or go out for a manicure or massage. If the person is interested in craft, you could have weekly learn-to-knit sessions where you both make beanies to send to refugees.